Relationships in the Philippines

There is a running joke over here that goes something like this:

James:  Hey Jose, lets go out and drink some ginebra.
Jose:     Sorry James, my wife just texted me and she wants me to come home.
James:  Which wife?  Wife #1 or Wife #2?

There is even a TV program (comedy) that is popular here... it is called "Two Wives"

So, I got to talking about this with a few women whose opinions  I respect here.  One, is in charge of the "Women and Social Services" program and in charge of the funding for all day care centers in Lagonoy.  Here is what Kari had to say about the issue of cheating...

"Listen, I've known my husband since I was a little girl.  I know the kind of man he is. I know he is a remarkable man.  It wouldn't surprise me if another woman was interested in him because he is so smart and handsome.  I've told my husband, "it wouldn't surprise me if another woman was interested in you, but before you choose to sleep with her make sure she is a fast runner.  Because when I find out that she has slept with you I will run as fast as I can to catch her and when I do I will tear off her clothes so that she will have to run naked and shamed through the streets.  Then I will call a special meeting with the barangay captain and file a complaint against her for trying to steal my husband.  I will make sure everyone in Lagonoy knows what she has done.  I will allow no woman to steal my husband."

Gee... that's an interesting perspective!  And, as long as we are on this topic, lets talk a bit about filipino courtship rituals, such as they are.  As best I can figure, it generally works like this:

First, there is no dating, per se.  When a boy decides that he is interested in a girl enough to make her a wife he will ask her out for dinner.  This is the only "date" - more often than not, this will also be the first time when the boy and girl will be alone.  Its a big deal, this dinner.  There, he will bring up the subject of marriage.  At the dinner, they will decide if they are a good fit, if they share the same thoughts on family, religion, life values, etc.  If this meeting works well, the next step is to approach both families - hers first, then his. If the families approve of the new couple, they move the next step - marriage.  Family approval is not a pro forma exercise, especially for the girl.  A girls father might be very protective of his daughter (!).  As I think I mentioned in another post, most marriages do not occur in a church bc a church is too costly (they exact a sizable fee for the service). Instead, the marriage is made legit through a simple ritual performed by the mayor. Documents are signed and then ... well, the couple is married.  In an earlier post, I know I described a "wedding party", so I wont do that again either.

Here's the thing... divorce is very very rare here, even if adultery is rather common.  The importance of maintaining the nuclear family is too strong and of course there is the Catholic thing... the guilt thing... the fear of hell thing.....